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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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