i would punch a child for taco bell
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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