FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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