My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
