JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
