No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
