i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
