JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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