good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
