While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
