i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
