At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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