I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Boobs speak an international language.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
