Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
