Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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