ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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