why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
