Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
