I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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