oh god the rape fog is back!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
