brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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