hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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