alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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