Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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