You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
