WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
