I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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