You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
