my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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