I showed him my bush... on skype.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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