I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize