thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
