I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
