So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
