I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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