I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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