I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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