all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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