I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
