Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
40s are totally the cure
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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