Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
