He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
