Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
why do cheetos always look like penises
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize