he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
