so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
