Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
