Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
