Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
