I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
