I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
